Monday, May 14, 2012
Happy National Buttermilk Biscuit Day!
(jeebus - what is this crap???)
oh, hello and Sonovista my friends!!! just commenting on the new user interface for managing the Schnauzer Logic Podcast blog over here on blogger...
in any event, just a quick note to say Howdy! and welcome to 2012 (if i get it in before the World Series® break, it still counts!)
lots of blah blah blah as to why we haven't done a show in a while, but the big news is that the old Apple Mobile Me/iDisk account that i used to host all of your favorite episodes (and the 88 others) is going away real soon now...
so i've purchased a new domain "almostradio.com", and it looks like i have successfully managed to get the iTunes store to recognize that the official RSS feed for Schnauzer Logic (the podcast) is now:
http://www.almostradio.com/schnauzerlogic/podcast.xml
if you subscribe through the store, nothing should change and all will still be well - but if you get the show another way (and used the old homepage.mac.com/airplayradio link, change it to the one above)
to test the new link and server i posted a test episode yesterday (Episode 85) that you will only see if you're connecting to the correct (new) feed... it runs about an hour and is mostly me babbling, with a bit of john dekoven babbling (on the phone) and a couple of fun tunes.
(oh, and as part of the upgrade process, the shows will now be in Stereo (Stereo) - which means, in order to get the same quality (sound, not content) each shows size will double (double) which is how you know that Schnauzer Logic is a true AMERICAN podcast - its now twice as large, but no more healthy.
and that's it... we won't be doing weekday (wednesday) shows, as schedules have changed, but i'm thinking a regular Sunday morning get together (Schnauzers and Lox) may well happen and we'll restart our move towards the big 100th show!
until then, thanks for the kind words and remember to
Show Up
Pay Attention
Tell The Truth
And Don't Be Attached To The Outcome.
namaste
robin
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Episode 84 (and 83) are Online!!!
the second episode was recorded yesterday and again features john and sheri in studio with parviz (PARVIZ!!!) on the phone and a great interview with a very funny comedian jeff applebaum.
i don't know when there wlll be show notes for either episode since boyana has decided to move to scotland to pursue her education (so much for priorities!)
but you can download the episodes from the usual places (hint, itunes) or listen in the side podcast pickle player or even just click on the players below:
Episode 84 - November 30, 2011
Episode 83 - November 16, 2011
and that's what we got for now - we have fun doing these shows and will try to continue to get together every week or so - as always, you can call into the show at 408-335-4755 and leave a message (or get through to the studio when we're recording) - and you can listen to the studio audio live (or a random archive of past shows) by clicking on one of the player icons to the right.
we always appreciate your support and only ask that you
show up
pay attention
tell the truth
and don't be attached to the outcome.
namaste
robin
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Schnauzer Logic Episode 83 Being Recorded Today
cheers
robin
Saturday, July 02, 2011
From the Finale of The Voice (Concept by Rachel) from Robin Diane Goldstein on Vimeo.
(rachel weinstein and i watched the finale of the first series of The Voice and were both gobstruck when Christina performed a 'real time' adjustment. we decided it was worthy of preserving and setting to music. enjoy!)
Saturday, June 25, 2011
(RSS) Feed Me, Seymour
for not having done a show for 14 months, i was actually surprised how easily i slipped back behind the microphone and into the role of fast-talking host. and it was fun!
the next step is figuring out whether we can get anyone to come back into the studio on a regular basis... John DeKoven has already said 'yes', and Jason is most likely a definite 'no' (due to his new job as West Coast Entertainment Reporter for ABC Radio Network News). and everyone else is an unknown at this point, but we'll see. its been a while since i did any kind of extended show by myself (and it requires a different kind of rhythm than doing a show with co-hosts). but '(not) 82' felt pretty comfortable, so a solo-run is certainly a possibility.
stay tuned
namaste
r
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
This is why Comcast/CableCARD Support is so Awful!!!

(UPDATED: June 22, 2011) sonovista, my friends!!! so today i received my new TiVo Premiere XL box and went about getting it all set up... now this is my 4th TiVo to use a CableCARD (the thing you need so a TiVo can get subscription and premium channels) and i know that in order for it to work on Comcast here in northern california, the card needs to be both Activated (connected to my account) and Paired (a second-level encryption scheme used to protect the HBO and Showtime-type-channels).
a post on the TiVoCommunity suggested it might be possible to bypass the challenges of getting a customer service representative to understand that a CableCARD is not a cable box, and that 'hitting it with a signal' isn't the same as "Pairing" it to set up the decryption chain, but after 3 attempts at http://www.comcast.com/activate, i gave up and decided to use their online chat service (as recommended on the activation page) - here is the transcript
=================
Live Chat Status:
Analyst DiosdadoJr is here and your issue status is: working
user ROBIN has entered room
analyst DiosdadoJr has entered room
DiosdadoJr> Hello ROBIN_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is DiosdadoJr. Please give me one moment to review your information.
DiosdadoJr> Welcome to Comcast Self - Install Kit Activation support! It is a pleasure to have you on chat. I hope you haven't waited long to be assisted. How can I help you today?
ROBIN_> hi - i need to both Activate and Pair a cablecard for my new TiVo - i tried using the online tool a couple of times, but it doesn't seem to be working (i still don't get any premium channels or a lot of other channels as well)
DiosdadoJr> It would be my pleasure to assist you in activating your service from my end and make sure that it is working fine before we end the chat session.
ROBIN_> thanks!
ROBIN_> i'm on the cablecard activation screen - what info do you need from me?
[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]
DiosdadoJr> "Let me pull up your account first. Can you please verify if this information that you entered prior to the start of the chat is correct: Customer's Name: ROBIN GOLDSTEIN Account Number:xxxxxxxxxxxx
ROBIN_> yes
DiosdadoJr> Thank you. While I pull up your account, may I have the make and model of the the cable box as well as its serial number?
ROBIN_> its not a cable box, its a TiVo Premiere
ROBIN_> so its a cablecard, not a box
ROBIN_> do you have experience with activating -and- pairing a cablecard?
DiosdadoJr> Yes I have Robin.
ROBIN_> excellent!!!
ROBIN_> it can be confusing if you've never done it before...
DiosdadoJr> Can I have the customer s/n # of the cable card?
ROBIN_> the Card S/N is xxxxxxxxxxxx
[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]
DiosdadoJr> Robin just to confirm from your end is this an additional cable card or will this replace another cable card?
ROBIN_> additional cable card for a new tivo box
[WAIT FOR 10 MINUTES]
ROBIN_> still there?
DiosdadoJr> Yes Robin I'm still here. I'm in the process of activating the cable card on my end.
ROBIN_> thanks
[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]
DiosdadoJr> I will now take the neccessary steps to activate the cable card Robin.
ROBIN_> thanks!
[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]
DiosdadoJr> Robin I have sent the activation signals to your cable card, can you check for channels now?
ROBIN_> i'm getting some channels (thanks) from the activation, but no premium channels. i believe the cable card also needs to be "Paired" using the Card ID, Host ID and Data ID info (as i recall from past experience)
DiosdadoJr> Do you have that information Robin?
ROBIN_> yes:
ROBIN_> CableCard ID: xxxxxxxxxxxx
ROBIN_> Host ID: xxxxxxxxxxxx
ROBIN_> Data ID: xxxxxxxxxxxx
DiosdadoJr> Thank you for that information Robin.
ROBIN_> cool
[WAIT FOR 10 MINUTES]
DiosdadoJr> I have already activated your cable service, and its already up and running here in my system, just in case after 45 minutes some of the expected channels are still not appearing please do contact this number 1 888 270 6445 for the activation update.
ROBIN_> so you've entered the Host ID and Data ID info on your screens?
ROBIN_> it usually doesn't take anywhere near 45 minutes to get the premium channels
[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]
DiosdadoJr> Just to recap what we have done today, I was able to successfully activate your cable service from my end and it is working fine now.
ROBIN_> no, that is not correct
ROBIN_> it appears my cablecard is not correctly "Paired" though it is "Activated"
DiosdadoJr> Yes Robin that is just the maximum time we give.
ROBIN_> ok - just to be clear, this was not a successful resolution of my issue. i would like to say it is, but my card is not Paired and i'm not getting the premium channels like HBO
DiosdadoJr> Robin I have actually sent the pair hit signal to your cable card.
ROBIN_> i believe you - its just not working
DiosdadoJr> Well Robin if you still have some issues regarding subscribed channels not loading, feel free to call our National Video Activation center for resolution & advanced trouble shooting regarding video activation.
ROBIN_> is that the 888 number above?
DiosdadoJr> Yes it is Robin.
DiosdadoJr> Thank you for using Comcast and have a nice day.
ROBIN_> you too - ciao
=================
so i then called the 888 number (above) and got hung up on 3 times! finally i called another comcast number and got straight through to a fellow (i wish i remembered his name) who understood that a CableCARD is not a cable box and has to be both authorized and paired and within 10 minutes (literally while i watched the screen and waited) everything was working great.
bottom line: time spent on getting my CableCARD activated and paired by Comcast - over 90 minutes (online, in chat, and on the phone) - time spent once i got to talk with someone who actually knew what to do - 10 minutes.
(for the record, i then had to call TiVo to activate the new box on my account - i wanted to do something 'tricky' and the regular customer rep couldn't help, so i called TiVo's HQ, got passed along to a second level rep and he took care of everything in about 10 minutes. so, TiVo, yea, Comcast, boo)
next up... trying to change the replaceable head in my electric toothbrush - wish me luck!
namaste
robin
------------
Wednesday Morning Update - June 22, 2011
so after i posted this on my @SchnauzerLogic twitter feed, i received a number of directed tweets from @ComcastMelissa offering to handle the issue directly. i thanked her and noted that the final CSR (who goes down as the unsung hero of this fustercluck) was knowledgeable and apologetic and got it all taken care of 'tout de suite'! she then asked for my account info, via direct message, so she could pass it up the chain in customer service, and this morning i received a phone call from another very nice woman who was equally apologetic and mentioned that she had read through the transcript and was going to be working with the CSR managers to make sure everyone had a refresher course on CableCARDS and the like... she also made an offer of 'good faith' in connection with my account (not necessary, but a clear indication that "Comcast Cares"!)... so all is good and working well... if only a call to customer service could do something about the quality of the programming!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Ringtone for the Rapture
http://www.SchnauzerLogic.com/rapturering.zip
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Film Review: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)
Roger Ebert's infamous review of Rob Reiner's 1994 film, "North", contained the following bit of prose:
"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."
For some reason (ok, many reasons), this old review came to mind, repeatedly, as i fought the constant temptation to "go all Elvis" on my Sony XBR last night while enduring this 2010 sequel to Oliver Stone's iconic 1987 cautionary tale of conspicuous consumption and greed. From the opening bleats of the David Byrne/Brian Eno soundtrack to the obligatory Charlie Sheen (and two hooker) cameo, almost every moment of this obvious, blunt force trauma made me want to punch someone. Shia LaBeouf's angry innocence? Pow. Josh Brolin's cardboard villain? Pow. Carey Mulligan, Susan Sarandon, Austin Pendleton, Eli Wallach? Pow, Pow, Pow, Pow! Has there ever been a greater waste of talent (or worse collection of accents?)
We get it, Oliver. We didn't learn our lesson and now the Apocalypse (quite literally, if you're a fan of wide tracking shots over Ground Zero) is upon us. And -only- Gordon Gekko can save us. Or fuck us in the ass. Or both or neither or wait, is this thing -still- not over?
The philosopher Aristotle said in his work Poetics that tragedy is characterized by seriousness and dignity and involving a great person who experiences a reversal of fortune (at least according to Wikipedia.) If that's true, then the real tragedy of WS:MNS is that the director of "Platoon", "Born on the Fourth of July", and the original "Wall Street" has returned to a 23 year-old well intent on passing off its brackish contents as cool, clear and refreshing. But it's not. It's not even the sickly sweet "Kool-Aid" that Gecko cautions his adoring audience against drinking. Its just stale and stinky, leaving you unquenched and slightly queasy with the sure knowledge that you'll wake up in the morning with cotton mouth and a pounding headache.
Over produced, over acted and underwhelming, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is a thorough mess whose most entertaining moment comes in the opening scene when the newly released ex-con, Gekko, is given back his iconic Motorola-brick cell phone. After sitting through this 2 hour and 7 minute magnum dopus, it occurred to me that this whole drama could have been avoided if old 'Gordo' had (spoiler alert) simply taken that $100 million he stashed away in Zurich back in '87 and invested it in Apple stock. By the time he got out he'd have more money than he'd know what do to with -and- a shiny new iPhone.
Or perhaps it's Stone who's fucking with us, at this very moment penning the third installment, "Wall Street: Love The Yuan You're With".
So, Don, my my verdict on "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps"?
To paraphrase the great Paul Simon, "Still Greedy After All These Years".
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Theodore Roosevelt - The Right of the People to Rule

Recorded by Thomas Edison, August 1912
The great fundamental issue now before our people can be stated briefly. It is, are the American people fit to govern themselves, to rule themselves, to control themselves? I believe they are. My opponents do not. I believe in the right of the people to rule. I believe that the majority of the plain people of the United States will, day in and day out, make fewer mistakes in governing themselves than any smaller class or body of men, no matter what their training, will make in trying to govern them. I believe, again, that the American people are, as a whole, capable of self-control, and of learning by their mistakes. Our opponents pay lip-loyalty to this doctrine; but they show their real beliefs by the way in which they champion every device to make the nominal rule of the people a sham.
I am not leading this fight as a matter of aesthetic pleasure. I am leading because somebody must lead, or else the fight would not be made at all. I prefer to work with moderate, with rational, conservatives, provided only that they do in good faith strive forward toward the light. But when they halt and turn their backs to the light, and sit with the scorners on the seats of reaction, then I must part company with them. We the people cannot turn back. Our aim must be steady, wise progress.
It would be well if our people would study the history of a sister republic. All the woes of France for a century and a quarter have been due to the folly of her people in splitting into the two camps of unreasonable conservatism and unreasonable radicalism. Had pre-Revolutionary France listened to men like Turgot, and backed them up, all would have gone well. But the beneficiaries of privilege, the Bourbon reactionaries, the shortsighted ultra-conservatives, turned down Turgot; and then found that instead of him they had obtained Robespierre. They gained twenty years' freedom from all restraint and reform, at the cost of the whirlwind of the red terror; and in their turn the unbridled extremists of the terror induced a blind reaction; and so, with convulsion and oscillation from one extreme to another, with alternations of violent radicalism and violent Bourbonism, the French people went through misery toward a shattered goal. May we profit by the experiences of our brother republicans across the water, and go forward steadily, avoiding all wild extremes; and may our ultra-conservatives remember that the rule of the Bourbons brought on the Revolution, and may our would-be revolutionaries remember that no Bourbon was ever such a dangerous enemy of the people and of freedom as the professed friend of both, Robespierre.
There is no danger of a revolution in this country; but there is grave discontent and unrest, and in order to remove them there is need of all the wisdom and probity and deep-seated faith in and purpose to uplift humanity we have at our command. Friends, our task as Americans is to strive for social and industrial justice, achieved through the genuine rule of the people. This is our end, our purpose. The methods for achieving the end are merely expedients, to be finally accepted or rejected according as actual experience shows that they work well or ill. But in our hearts we must have this lofty purpose, and we must strive for it in all earnestness and sincerity, or our work will come to nothing. In order to succeed we need leaders of inspired idealism, leaders to whom are granted great visions, who dream greatly and strive to make their dreams come true; who can kindle the people with the fire from their own burning souls. The leader for the time being, whoever he may be, is but an instrument, to be used until broken and then to be cast aside; and if he is worth his salt he will care no more when he is broken than a soldier cares when he is sent where his life is forfeit in order that the victory may be won. In the long fight for righteousness the watchword for all of us is spend and be spent.
(This speech contains excerpts from "The Right of People to Rule," an address originally delivered at Carnegie Hall, New York City, on March 20, 1912. See Social Justice and Popular Rule: Essays, Addresses, and Public Statements Relating to the Progressive Movement (1910-1916) by Theodore Roosevelt.)
Friday, June 18, 2010
Boyana's Dog - Rocky
sonovista, my friends... hope you are all well and enjoying the World Cup (you ess aye you ess aye you ess aye)... i've been taking acupuncture treatments for my med-stuff and (shhhhhh!) things seem to be a tiny bit better! so maybe a new show sometime before 2012.
in the meanwhile i had a lovely email exchange with Boyana today about her pending graduation from university and she forwarded along a photo of her pup, Rocky, who, while not a schnauzer, seems to be a pretty cool guy (as i'm sure you'll agree!)
enjoy the weekend and Happy Father's Day to dads everywhere.
robin
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
It's not you, It's me...
as some of you have noticed (many with sadness, a few with glee), the show has been MIA since Episode 81 (recorded on April 21, 2010). despite rumors to the contrary, this has nothing to do with anything that's happened between our little band of merrymakers (either on-air or off). in fact, while we've made a few abortive attempts to stage Episode 82 (alas, to no avail), we did manage to get sheri, rachel, jeff and me (robin) up to Dublin, CA a few weeks ago to help judge one of the semi-final rounds of John DeKoven's Bunjo's Comedy Competition, where a good time was had by all.
the issue is my struggle to do all the pre/post show work necessary to actually have a show. for the rest of the crew the actual time commitment is the 2+ hours we spend in the studio, plus travel and snacks - for me the time commitment works out to bewteen 4x-5x that -even- with Boyana's tremendous assistance. each week i need to set aside between 8 and 10 hours to prep the show, grab the music and audio, confirm the participants, clean the studio, load the files, do the show, break down the show, edit, process, compress, annotate and upload the audio to the server, ping Boyana with links, clean the studio and mics and put everything away. under ideal circumstances i can slot these tasks in between the other things i need to do to make sure life goes on (and on and on), but recently the stars have not aligned quite so harmoniously and the show prep (pre- and post-, never the show itself) has become a source of angst and anxiety and a drain on my resources. as a result i've had to cancel the show a couple of times at the last minute, and realize i've been 'jerking' the crew around (they have lives, too!) which then adds to my angst and anxiety (still 20% jewish by volume)... combine this with a series of wednesday client meetings that can't be moved (including this week and next), and you get the Official Schnauzer Logic 2010 Hiatus.
rest assured that the studio remains intact, dusted and ready to go at a moment's notice...
instead, take comfort in the words of the poets of Persia, Jerusalem, and OK Go who have each noted with wisdom and compassion:
"This too shall pass"
این نیز بگزرد, een niz bogzarad
גם זה יעבור, gam zeh yaavor
more to say when there's more worth saying... until then, many thanks to you all (especially John, Parviz, Sheri, Jason, Jeff, Rachel, all the regulars and especially Boyana) and when all else fails, remember to:
Show Up
Pay Attention
Tell The Truth
And Don't Be Attached To The Outcome
namaste
robin

Thursday, May 13, 2010
Where the hell -is- everybody?
in the meanwhile, here is a pleasant photo i took on my trip to Terre Haute, Indiana this past weekend to celebrate my uncle's 80th birthday and watch as he received an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters degree from Saint Mary-Of-The-Woods College.
namaste
robin
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Official Episode 81 Show Notes by Boyana Atanasova
If you never had the chance to listen to the famous Schnauzer Logic podcast before, its Episode 81 is probably the perfect for you to join the crazy group called “listeners”! The radio show was recorded on the 21st of April and now I have the wonderful privilege to tell you a few words about it here.
Guests at the studio were John, Sheri and Parviz and right at the beginning we learned from some of them that it is not OK to answer somebody’s “hi, how are you” with “I’m tired”. That was a cool start of an even cooler show. Among the topics there mentioned were the latest stories around Conan O’Brien and George Lopez, Larry King and his (ex)wives, Tracy Morgan’s comedy style and many, many others. Much time was spent talking about the new iPhone that “leaked” few days ago. It was a strange story with a stupid Apple employee who has left the prototype of the smart phone in a bar. This was the time when everybody in the studio began talking about conspiracies and their influence in our point of view. Parviz was the one who put there the bad story of a baby who was left in the car of its parents for many hours… Stories told by Wikileaks were also an interesting part of this segment. Some of their latest findings are really stunning! Go check them out.
Don't Be Attached To The Outcome
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Schnauzer Logic Episode 81 is Online!!!
all the usual stuff applies (show notes, links, etc.) and will follow in due course (or not).
the MP3 file is ::here::
film @ 11
namaste
robin
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Schnauzer Logic Episode 81 - We're in the Studio Today
cheers!
robin
(Hospital) Room with a View

UCSF 400 Parnassus Avenue - 8th Floor - Looking North
(click on the image to see larger or view full size)
View Larger Map
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Official Episode 80 Show Notes by Boyana Atanasova
Welcome back to the Schnauzer Logic official show notes! Two weeks without the podcast and it came time for the 80th Episode, which was recorded on the 14th of April.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Four Score and Zero Podcast's Ago...
Schnauzer Logic Episode #80 is Online in all the usual places. This past Wednesday Jason was out with the flu and Sheri, Jeff and Rachel were all caught up in work emergencies, but John DeKoven, Parviz and I soldered through the week's events. In addition, the SchnauzerStudioPhone (408/335.4755) got a workout with surprise calls by Mark Zinkle (teen radio host/ultralight pilot extraordinaire), and Mary from Everette (by way of Castro Valley) who won tickets to Bunjo's!!! who regaled us with tails of warm lobster rolls available -here- on the West Coast.
Plus good tuneage including Bulgarian rock courtesy of Boyana.
This show deserves copious links but yesterday was Tax Day here in the US and after having my finances examined I had to drive up to UCSF to have my head examined (yearly brain scan - pictures coming soon!) But on a happier note, my SF Giants are leading baseball with a 7-2 record, so Go Giants!
more soon and if you can't find what you're looking for, post a comment or drop me a line.
in the meanwhile
Show Up
Pay Attention
Tell The Truth, and
Don't Be Attached To The Outcome
namaste
robin
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Coming this Wednesday (what? what?) A New Schnauzer Logic!
in the meanwhile, a couple of photos to show that i've at least used my truancy for good and not evil...
opening day for the 2010 San Francisco Giants
(btw, you can see all my Giants Photos and a couple of Videos (1) (2) from Opening Day)
see ya all Wednesday and feel free to leave any question, comments or requests on the Schnauzer Hotline @408/335.4755
namaste
robin
Friday, April 09, 2010
The Year Of Living Olbermann

(A Cautionary Tale for the Genuine Article)
It began innocently enough, as most great adventures do. Alone and drunk and sitting in front of a television, I stared as the man, the myth, the legend that is Keith Olbermann declared, “Twitter”, the day’s “Worst Person In The World.” I was gob struck, a term I was technically not allowed to use as I had opted for MIT instead of Cornell, but damn convention, this was basic cable, and it was serious. The host of the news program I had enjoyed during the entirety of the 2008 Presidential election campaign, the man who had combined humor and intelligence in the coverage of our quadrennial ‘Sturm und Drang’ had just dumped all over the latest social networking phenomena because someone had sent him an email that referenced a tweet that was apparently addressed to a fake Twitter zzzzzzzzzzzz. I don’t remember the facts. I was well into the Slivovitz at this point and only capable of one thought: This can’t be the “real” Keith Olbermann. The real Olbermann has a sense of humor and this guy on the TV was using the same bat he swung against stupidity and hypocrisy and cruelty to swat at a silly little bird. But if the fellow on TV wasn’t the real Olbermann, that left a void! So picking up my computer, I did the only thing any right-thinking American would do. I created another fake Olbermann account, named it in honor of both Puff Daddy and Spartacus, and declared for all the world to see:
“@iAMolbermann”
And, with a hastily crafted profile photo sporting the requisite ‘evil twin’ magic marker beard, I simply began typing things into the twitterverse, addressing no one and talking about nothing. No followers necessary, I just started tweeting. Random things. Silly things. Obviously insane things. For example, when the genuine KO appeared the next night on “Real Time with Bill Maher” I tweeted the ‘inside scoop’:
“bill maher smells like sweet pickle chips, the kind you put on your burger. i kind of liked it... there, i said it! i am olbermann”
And soon, like bits of cosmic flotsam and jetsam, Twitter followers, living, breathing human beings, began attaching themselves to me (or the me that was the fake Olbermann). In the beginning most appeared to be in on the joke and seemed to appreciate tweets like:
“and now, as promised, a special comment: To lower your stress, get a kitty. Lucky Numbers 6,49,5,11,2,3 i AM olbermann”.
Now to be honest, after the kerfuffle over the first 'fake' Olbermann (the one that resulted in the Countdown WPITW rant), there were those who doubted my authenticity. A few folks even asked me to “prove” that I really was Keith, which I did by taking a photo of a computer screen displaying an MSNBC KO publicity shot, clearly reflected in a hand mirror, and claiming this was a photograph of ‘me’ right after shaving that morning. The arrow cursor visible in my hair may have detracted from the air of legitimacy I was hoping to convey.
You see, in one of my many other identities (see the banner at the top of the blog) I’m a comedian and writer and posting as @iAMolbermann became an exercise to see how long I could maintain a funny Twitter stream from an alternate universe where a Bizarro World Olbermann dwelt. A tweet stream of Keith Olbermann's "id", if you will. At one point, early on, I even wrote to the producers of Countdown confessing my shenanigans and observing that I was finding it exhausting having to be Keith Olbermann for just a few minutes a day, and wondering how the real KO kept it up 24/7.
But as Nietzsche might have said (in 140 characters or less), “If you tweet long enough into the abyss, the abyss will begin to tweet back at you”, and eventually the hate tweets arrived. Angry people looking for a place to vent their frustration or confusion or just looking for a bogeyman they could lash out against. And the strange thing was how much it hurt. Personally. I knew I wasn’t Olbermann and that they weren’t directing their vitriol against me, but I had taken on the role of ‘in loco celebrity” and was, therefore, fair game.
And so the first lesson I learned in my year of living Olbermann was that people are willing to say things on the Internet that I don’t think their upbringing or religion or just good manners would permit them to say face to face. I wish this weren’t the case, but we all know its true. And it may speak more to our need, as human beings, of having our thoughts and feelings ‘witnessed’ by others, than it does to our capacity for anonymous cruelty. I’m not sure I’m smart enough to know. Remember, I’m the one who didn’t go to Cornell. But I do know that being a public figure, even an obviously fake public figure, comes at a cost, and as the real person behind the false identity, I can assure you the brickbats leave marks.
The second lesson I learned in my year of living Olbermann is that for every jerk with a nasty comment, there are hundreds of kind and compassionate folks who will offer their genuine love and support when life presents its toughest challenges. As regular viewers of Countdown know, Keith sadly lost both his mother and father during the past year, and as a jokester, I found myself unprepared to deal with issues of real loss and grief in the midst of my comic facade.
On the one hand I was writing a parody/comedy tweet stream that had no basis in reality, posting tweets like:
“OlberFunQuiz: chicken breed or name i've been called? Dorking, Clownface, Buttercup, Jersey Giant?”
and
“Went to see Avatar at the IMAX. Did you know they charge extra for 3D? I paid, but watched the film with one eye closed, in protest.”
And on the other hand, a real person, someone who I admired, had lost one (and then the other) of his parents.
Now it turns out that I had lost both of my parents during the past few years, as well, and again found that the real life events of my doppelganger had a direct impact on me through my faux Twitter identity. Many of @iAMolbermann’s followers, apparently unaware that they were not writing to the original Olbermann, sent lovely notes of condolence and consolation and I took care to respond to each of them, noting that I was a comedian and not the real KO, though still a fan, and suggesting that they send their well wishes directly to Keith at MSNBC. And so, as hurt as I was by the misdirected bile sent my way in the name of fair and balanced discourse, I was equally heartened by outpouring of unsolicited prayer and support and kindness directed towards my namesake as comfort against the universal experience of grief and loss we all, at one time or another, share.
And it was this second lesson that lead directly to the third and final epiphany I had during my year of living Olbermann:
Reading may be Fundamental, but "Reading" and "Reading Comprehension" are Not the Same Thing!
During my year of living Olbermann I managed to go from a handful of followers to somewhere close to 11,000. And a strange phenomenon I noticed along the way was that even though I repeatedly tweeted both subtly (and not so subtly) that I was NOT the real Keith Olbermann (a fact easily confirmed by simply reading the tweets authored by @iAMolbermann), the number of followers who believed I was Olbermann continued to rise. In fact, at one point I noticed that every time I tweeted I lost followers and so, after tweeting this precise revelation, I simply shut up and watched the count go even higher.
And so it went, parallel universes in perfect harmony, until April 8, 2010 (the night I originally wrote this piece). While packing my bag in anticipation of traveling to the home opener between the San Francisco Giants and the Atlanta Braves (yes, I happen to love baseball, too), I turned on the TV to catch the end of the 5pm Countdown broadcast and noticed Keith talking to John Hodgman about his intention to ‘finally’ enter the Twitterverse with an official account @keitholbermann. And, after a brief OMG/WTF moment, I quickly logged in as @iAMolbermann and tweeted:
“HOLY CRAP!!! the jig is up!!!”
and waited for my number of followers to drop. Except that they didn’t. Finishing up this article a bit over 2 hours after the “OG” Olbermann posted his first tweets, I discovered that I had even more followers than I did before, many of whom were, yes, ‘welcoming’ me to Twitter. (sigh)
As Walt Kelly wrote in Pogo,
“We Have Met The Enemy And He Is Us.”
Us, and a significant lapse in our reading comprehension.
And so, Mr. Olbermann, along with the thousands of others who will undoubtedly subscribe to the 140 characters of ‘Keithiness’ that will make up @keitholbermann, I too welcome you to the show (the other, weirder, more egalitarian show where everyone has made the roster and seems to be taking batting practice in all directions, simultaneously.) I hereby turn the @iAMolberman nation over to you, in good health and good spirits, no worse for the wear and tear and fake magic marker beard.
As Tooter Turtle might have said, “Please Mr. Wizard! I don’t want to be Keith Olbermann any more!” And as kindly Wizard the Lizard would hopefully have intoned, “Drizzle, drazzle, druzzle, drome; time for zis one to come home.”
Good Night and Good Luck being Keith Olbermann, Keith Olbermann. Its a task best left to those chivalrous of spirit, pure of heart, and clean shaven (Cornell degree optional.)
And in closing, I’ll ask that -you- answer the lovely Ann Molison @amolison of Colorado who tweets:
“So - which Olbermann do we read! This one with a hairy face! Or the clean cut - new one who finally logged in today! :)”
Keith, we both know its probably better that she hear it from you.
Article and Photo Mosaic of @iAMolbermann Followers
©2010 Robin Diane Goldstein
robin@schnauzerlogic.com
www.SchnauzerLogic.com
Thursday, April 08, 2010
We All Playin' Hooky
in the meantime, please to enjoy this pretty picture from the beach at santa cruz , california, yesterday at exactly the moment we should have been in a small, hot, crowded room.

next week we're back!
namaste
robin
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Schnauzer Logic’s NoNothing Review: The Apple iPad

As with all NoNothing reviews, it's important to be clear right from the start. I don't own an Apple iPad. I've never touched one, felt one, lifted one, held one. I've never seen one in person and haven't spoken directly with anyone who has. Now, on to the review.
After months of delay, Apple's long awaited tablet computer, the awkwardly named "IPad" has finally been released, and much like Apple's previous tablet computer, the "Newton", this overpriced/under-featured bit of fanboy flotsam left me wanting. With its bright, clear, large flat glass screen, I was surprised to see that after picking it up, turning it over, and handing it around to all my friends, the iPad's display was covered in fingerprints. Cleaning the screen with the same lint free optical cloth I use on my iPhone, MacBook and Oakley sunglasses proved to be an unexpected source of irritation, especially when these same friends repeatedly asked, "how do you keep the screen clean?"
Equally troubling is its size. With a screen 5x larger than an iPhone, the iPad is far too big to put in your pocket. And while Apple "claims" that the WiFi version of the iPad weighs only 1.5lbs, after holding it at arms length for much of its 10-hour battery life, mine felt much heavier. Speaking of which, come on Apple… no user serviceable parts? This isn't like an electric toothbrush or an electric razor or hairdryer or the new Flip cameras or MacBooks or MacBook Pros or any iPod or iPhone ever? Its important to me to know that I –can- replace the battery myself, regardless of whether I'm ever likely to do so.
Turning next to the software, the iPad is severely limited to only those applications Apple, itself, decides to supply, or one of the few of third-party apps you're forced to purchase from Apple's iTunes store. And while Apple doesn't set the pricing for any third-party apps, I nevertheless felt ripped off when I learned that some developers are charging –more- for an updated/enhanced iPad version of the same app (some up to 300% more, charging $2.99 for a life saving CPR instructional app that previously cost only 99 cents).
Continuing to explore the software, while attempting to browse the web on the supplied Safari browser (the only browser available, by the way. Apple still won't allow Microsoft's Internet Explorer to run on the iPad) I was surprised to learn that the iPad does not support Adobe's Flash, making it impossible to view any YouTube videos, unless you use the supplied YouTube app that comes standard on the iPad. Begining with the original iPhone, first launched in June of 2007, and continuing through to today, Apple has refused to support Flash on the iPhone, iPhone 3G, iPhone 3GS and iPod Touch, making Apple's lack of Flash on the iPad all that much more frustrating. One wonders how much longer Apple can maintain this clearly untenable position.
Finally, no review of the iPad can be complete without a discussion of its durability, need for a 10 watt charger, virtual keyboard, case and how quickly its large flat display attracts fingerprints. So here goes: my 5 year old can watch all her Disney movies on the VCR in our family room, but I wouldn't let her take my iPad to her pre-school class, and you shouldn't let her take yours either. It's not clear what Apple was thinking, but this isn't a product aimed at the Ravi set. With respect to power, Apple supplies a specialized 10 watt charger, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't expect to be able to charge my iPad by plugging it into any USB port on any product ever made. As Johnny Cochrane might say, "If the plug does fit, you must charge it!" And last, but not least, no matter what you might have thought, typing on the iPad's virtual keyboard is simply not the same as typing on a dedicated, stand alone, keyboard, resulting in the unpleasant experience of getting fingerprints on the display.
While you may find the iPad a perfect complement to the web sites, magazines, email, films, tv, music and digital books you enjoy every day, in my opinion, if the unfortunate name isn't enough to keep you away from this $500 entertainment 'toy', the easily smudged screen should be.
Robin Diane Goldstein
Schnauzer Logic NoNothing Reviewer
Friday, April 02, 2010
No new show this week
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Official Episode 79 Show Notes by Boyana Atanasova
Two weeks without our favorite podcast and finally there is a new Schnauzer show that I will comment down here. I won’t stop saying about every new episode that it was one of the best I've heard! It may sound a bit odd but it’s the truth – Episode 79 didn’t make difference. It was wonderful! John and Parviz (woohooo!) were the only guests at the beginning of the show, but later on Sheri join the group. The music this time was taken from the latest
The serious talk started with the “swear” topic and Joe Biden, who managed to curse while talking on a public event. This was turned to a discussion about the recent steps in changing the
If you didn’t know, there is a TigerText app for iPhone, but the details about it are all in the show, told from John. Robin was the one that raised voice for the changes that will happen in the post delivery services in the
Schnauzer Logic Episode 79 is Online!!!
In any event our -crack- team in Sofia are hard at work whipping up this weeks show notes (ihopeihopeihope) but in the meantime, here's what you need to know:
1. The show is in all the usual places (and i need to figure out a better way to do this every week!)... iTunes, direct MP3 download, the online player, tin cans and string, smoke signals, 40m SSB, etc...
2. In the studio this week were Coughy McCoughawitz (Bunjo's! John DeKoven who now has his own Blog), Sheri Stevens and Parviz Fathali and joining in from LA, Radio's Jason Nathanson (KNX1070).
3. Our discussions ranged all over the place but we did spend a bit of time talking about the new US health care legislation, Tiger Woods, some television that makes us cry (for good reasons), the possible legalization of marijuana in California, tigertexting, 5 day postal delivery, and more.
4. Our BIG GUEST was DIY artist/author/doer, Becky Stern who discussed writing for both Make and Craft and is amazing and awesome made me think i should probably start getting up earlier.
5. Blah Blah Blah... oh yeah, we now have multiple cameras in the studio and i'm trying an experiment where we record the entire show on video using BoinxTV (amazing software, btw) and you can then see it here:
The show starts out with audio from the room mic but switches over to the board so the whole 2+ hours are not echo'y but clean audio right from the mixing board.
6. And there's more but i'm totally behind the 8 ball (again) - oh... we did hear from Sean and looks like he's gotten a handle on his meds and we're all hopeful that he'll be on the mend soon and may even be back some day and we're asking you'all to send him your love , prayers and good energy.
7. Anyone out there feel like writing a positive review for the podcast on iTunes, we'd be much appreciative!
8. The show phone lines are always open for your voice mail messages (which we're most likely to play on the air) @ 408-335-4755
and that's all i got... until next time
Show Up
Pay Attention
Tell The Truth, and
Don't Be Attached To The Outcome
namaste
robin
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Leprechauns Stole My Podcast! (see: Dingos, et al.)
See you all next week with the full cast back in the studio and the (secret) premiere of the Schnauzer Logic After-Show TV Party FunTime Program
namaste
robin
Official Episode 78 Show Notes by Boyana Atanasova
Episode 78 from Schnauzer Logic history was born one week ago and now I will serve you a couple of sentences about what happened in it. It lasted something like two hours and a half and you should know that it was a wonderful show again. The guests at the studio were John, Jeff and Rachel (an old friend of our host Robin and was nice to hear her at this new episode.) Jason was on the “hot line” on the telephone and the singer/songwriter/comedian Ken Turetzky called right before the end of the show, making the last segment of it really interesting and enjoyable.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Schnauzer Logic Episode 78 is Online!!!
Boyana will take care of the show notes in due course, but here's what you need to know:
1. The feed in the iTunes Store has been fixed, so you can again browse for the latest version of the show right in iTunes. A benefit of the fooling-around we had to do with the RSS feed is that the iTunes store again shows each episode's summary, so a win all around! (and we're *still* looking for more reviews and ratings, so if you have an iTunes account and haven't rated and reviewed the show yet, please do so!)
2. The direct feed to grab the entire MP3 file is ::here:: Be advised that this week's episode comes in at a hefty 2hr 30min, so you may want to consume this show in small doses and wait at least 1/2 hour after eating before listening to the next segment.
3. As always, the PodcastPickle player in the right-hand column will let you choose an episode to listen to right in your browser, and if you're a fan of the Legacy player, its all good, too!
4. Sitting in with us this week are two of our "SNTNG" (schnauzer logic: the next generation) regulars, John DeKoven (BUNJOS!) and Jeff Maranhas... and joining us for the first time in a long time is another of my old KSCO radio partners, Rachel Weinstein.
5. Also joining us from LA was KNX's own, Jason Nathanson, who led our discussion wrapping up the film awards season and his coverage of the Film Independent Spirit Awards and the Oscars, with some interesting inside-scoopage on both. Dr. J. then favored us with his encounter with the "Coz" himself, the right honorable, Dr. William H. Cosby, Jr., Ed.D, at the famed Playboy Mansion in LA. Classic audio, Classic Coz, Classic Jason.
6. Finally, as we entered the last segment, Jeff and Rachel had to leave, so JDK and I proceeded to wrap up the show, and opened the phone lines (408/335.4755) and who should surprise us with a ringy/dingy but our good friend, the award winning singer/song writer and all around funny fellow, Ken Turetzky (he of TuretzkySyndrome FaceBook fan page fame and the upcoming Jew Collar Comedy Tour). Turns out ol' Ken knows the ol' Coz, as he scored an interview hisownself many years ago, so we deconstructed Jason's encounter with the Temple legend and discussed comedy, music, comedy-music and musical comedy and if you're really good and listen all the way through the end of the show, past the closing credits, you can hear a special bonus presentation of Ken's neo-classic, "She Won't Blow Me".
7. And finally, all of this week's show music (except for "She Won't Blow Me" and the original "The Cosby Show" theme, "Hikky Burr") came from a collection of the Top 100 J-Pop tunes from 2009. (i've loved this genre of music since my first trip to Japan in 1986, and a good high-energy ジェイポップ tune still makes me smile!)
and that's all i got! we had a good time this week (as we do every week) and look forward to next week when Parviz should be back in the studio, and our guest will be Associate Editor of Makzine and Craftzine, Becky Stern...
so until then:
Show Up
Pay Attention
Tell The Truth
And Don't Be Attached To The Outcome (based on the novel Push by Sapphire)
namaste
robin
Monday, March 08, 2010
All Hail Dalten Duncan
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
No Show Today (Wed March 3, 2010)
on the plus side, it appears that the iTunes store has finally caught up and the latest episode (including just our interview with Rich Vos) is online.
thanks to boyana for a great set of show notes!
namaste
robin





