Art Bell Has Died

Those of you who are fans of talk radio (and possibly some of you who aren't) may have heard that Art Bell passed away on Friday. As others have said (more eloquently and with more impact) Art's approach to radio was one of the critical factors that moved my personal course from "I think I can do this" to "I must do this".

I had the chance to meet Art, drink scotch and smoke cigars with him at the 2001 Radio and Records Talkers Convention, and it was hard to suppress my 'fanboiness' and just be 'cool'... so cool, in fact, that I declined the opportunity to have a photo taken with him, but did shoot one with my dear friend Sean Meehan. I can't put my hands on the original (sans POTUS), but maybe Art would have appreciated the anomalous juxtaposition more than most.

I don't think we'll see broadcasters of his ilk again... The times and medium have changed and I fear we have all become a bit too jaded to embrace the weird and wonderful world that was late night radio and Art Bell. R.I.P. Art

I'm (Semi) Famous

Monika Kowalska publishes a blog, The Heroines of My Life, where she interviews transwomen.

Having reached the bottom of the proverbial barrel (by interviewing 427 worthy individuals), she finally relented and reached out to see if I was interested in chatting about my journey. I did not hesitate.

Please to enjoy:

Interview with Robin Diane Goldstein

We're All Alright!

Robin Goldstein backstage with Cheap Trick at the Shoreline Amphitheater, September 2, 2017

You can trace this photo directly to my unexplained decision to take up the ukulele in the summer of 2014. And working on the Newton and meeting Steve Capps in 1995. And Doug Sovern's twins running off with my guitar pick last month. And Ashdown House and my grad school roommate and dear friend Jim Lattin. And my unwavering certainty that the universe has a tremendous sense of humor and loves a great story, no matter how long it takes to tell.

Here is a link to the album with all the photos I took at 107.7 The Bone/KSAN-FM's Bone Bash XVII at the Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View, California.

And here's the story I originally shared on Twitter that led to the photo. Please to enjoy.
_______________________________________________________

(i posted this on twitter the other day... many of you have heard much of the story before, but after i posted it Eddie Money started to follow me on twitter, so that fact alone seemed like a good reason to repost here!):

here’s a good story: in 1996 i was working at Apple on the Newton team. Cheap Trick was in town for a concert and Greg Kihn, morning man KFOX, brought them over to Apple for a tour.

a bunch of tables were set up in Caffe Macs to demo our products for the band, and i was in charge of showing the MessagePad 120. i was big into the whole Vans/checkerboard motif then (h/t to Steve Capps) and had customized my Newton with black-and-white checkerboard contact paper. the band arrived and went from table to table and when they got to mine Rick Nielsen stopped, stared at my Newton and said, “Are you making them like this now?” I said, “No, this is a custom job to match my shoes!” He laughed and reached into this pocket and pulled out a guitar pick and gave it to me. (later that day I ran into the band as they were being escorted through another lab by some execs. Rick saw me from across the lobby (my Vans probably gave me away), stopped the procession, and shouted, “Hey… isn’t that Robin Goldstein? Hi Robin Goldstein!!!” much to the astonishment of our execs - this still makes me smile, but i digress)…

in any event i’ve held on to that pick as a prized possession for over 20 years, but never got to use it as i didn’t play guitar. then a few years ago i stumbled across the ukulele and that lead me to the guitar and don’t let anyone tell you its ever too late to teach an old dog new tricks. then a few weeks ago i was at a party with Doug Sovern and a bunch of friends and brought a few guitars and ukes and we sat around singing and playing music and having a grand time. and every now and then Doug’s kids would fly by and steal a guitar pick and i looked at him and he said, “yeah they do that… they’re pick thieves… you’ll get them back”… but when i got home that night i realized i didn’t get them all back and was going to go online and buy some new ones when i thought, “i should make my own custom pick” and found InTune Guitar Picks and designed and ordered a custom pick (same type and thickness as the Nielsen pick) with the Schnauzer Logic logo and they arrived last night and I love them and 20 years later want to return the favor to Rick… so Rick Nielsen: if you happen to read this and please shoot me your address, i’ll throw a bunch in the mail for you and you can toss them out at a concert and confuse the hell out of some fans!

and always remember what some smart(ass) guys from Rockford, Illinois once told me: "Surrender, Surrender, But don’t give yourself away."

UPDATE/ERRATA:
1. The Newton was actually an MP130 (not MP120),
2. I know this because I found it in my office (and, of course, it still works!), and
3. Cheap Trick is going to be playing at the Shoreline Amphitheater in Sept and I've got myself a meet-and-greet ticket so there's a chance I may be able to present my pick in person! (I love it when a plan comes together!)

One Year and Four Strings Later...

it was exactly one year ago that i sat in my apartment, working on my computer and humming the Everclear​ tune, “The Honeymoon Song” from their album, ‘Songs From an American Movie, Volume 1: Learning How to Smile’ (for reasons i will never understand, since no music was playing in my home, no TV or radio turned on, and i don’t recall hearing the song playing anywhere in local elevators), when i said to myself, “hey, i really like this song… i’d like to learn how to play it on the ukulele… i guess i have to buy a ukulele”, and that lead me to Amazon where i ordered an Oscar Schmidt Concert Uke (cheapest 5-star uke i could find), a padded gig bag, and a tuner, and having clicked on “Place Your Order”, promptly forgot about the entire event until, about a week later, when i arrived home to find a large package was waiting for me on my doorstep, prompting me to say, “what the f&ck this is? i didn’t order anything” (that’s often a problem), and, taking the package inside and opening it up, further prompted me to remark, “huh… i bought a ukulele… i guess now i have to learn how to play it…” and the rest, as they say, is a tiptoe through the tulips of history.

what i didn’t know was that The Honeymoon Song, the Oscar Schmidt, Ukulele Bex​, Jim Carey​, the Santa Cruz Sons of the Beach Ukulele Group​, and so many others i’ve met along the way would bring the joy of playing music back into my life and the lives of a number of my friends, and would provide me with an infinite number of opportunities to giggle like an idiot, acquire a stupid number of ukuleles (where stupid > 10), and learn how to take a $30 Chinese/Aliexpress uke and, having more guts than brains (or as i like to say, “The Confidence of an Idiot”), teach myself kitchen-table luthierie working with emory boards, Mr. Clean Magic Eraser bricks, a pocket screwdriver from AAAAA Appliance Repair, avocado oil and fishing line, turning those pieces of wood into a very nice instrument.

these days i’m never more than few feet away from a ukulele (quite literally, i have one with me pretty much 24hrs/day), and this has led to impromptu concerts at many a local car wash, in the hallways of the Apple law dept offices many afternoons after 6pm, and this past spring in Los Angeles where i attempted (with 1100 of my closest friends) to break a Guinness Book of World Records record for Ukulele Playing along with Tia Carrere and Daniel Ho (we didn’t, but i was at least able to check an item off my bucket list). i’ve recorded personalized Happy Birthday tunes for a number of friends, wrote a parody of the song “Hero” by Family of the Year​, (the song that played throughout the film Boyhood​,) for my friend John DeKoven​ (he claims it was his favorite movie of all time! ;^)), and last weekend, when i couldn’t find the chords or sheet music anywhere online, transcribed the Harry Ruby tune, “Father’s Day” (made famous by Groucho Marx) and posted it all over the web for ukulele players to learn and play for their own fathers… playing the uke has also revived my interest in playing piano and keyboards, and encouraged me to try and learn the guitar, again (i’ve tried, unsuccessfully, every 5 years since 1975, so apparently the 9th time’s the charm!)

music is good… live music is better… playing your own live music is the best (and as i often remind myself, if you don’t know a chord, just sing louder!)…  or, as the little old lady who lives across the street remarked as i opened my eyes after intensely making my way through all the verses of Marrakesh Express (falsetto fully intact for the requisite, “well, let me hear you now!”) and realized she had been standing at the edge of the driveway, watching me the entire time:

You’re getting better.

yes, i am… in more ways than i could have imagined…

namaste
r.

"Father's Day" Chords & Lyrics (Groucho Mark / Harry Ruby)

a favorite memory from childhood was seeing Groucho sing "Father's Day" on the late-night talk shows...  i used to sing it to my dad each year and decided to see if i could find the chords to play on the ukulele... nothing turned up, so i prepared the transcription below... feel free to suggest corrections... (the original song was written by famed composer/screenwriter Harry Ruby, who wrote the music and screenplays for both Duck Soup and Horse Feathers, as well as writing the music for Animal Crackers)... enjoy...

=====
(F) Today, (C) father, is (F) Father's Day
And (C7) we're giving you a (F) tie (F7)
It's (B♭)not much we know
It is (F) just our way of (F/C) showing you
We (G7) think you’re a (G7sus) regular (C) guy

You (B♭) say that it was nice of us to (F) bother
But it (C) really was a (C7) pleasure to (D7) fuss
For (Gm7) according to our (C) mother
(C7) You're our (F) (A7) (Dm) father
(B♭)And (F) that's (Dm) good (F) enough (C) for (F♯dim)(D7) us
(B♭)Yes, (F) that's (B♭)good (C) enough (C7) for (F) us
=====

you can also watch Groucho sing it on the Dick Cavett Show

Happy Father's Day!
r.

well, i didn't make the cover of Vanity Fair, but...

they did just publish my brief essay over at the New York Times Transgender Today Opinion Pages...

now i know Caitlyn Jenner is the story everyone is focusing on (and i am certainly happy for her and the fact that she has finally allowed herself to become the person she felt herself to be), but if you really want to read about brave people who embraced their true selves without the social, emotional or financial safety nets that Jenner has at her disposal, look at a few of the 200+ essays linked to, below, and be inspired by folks of every age and background who found the courage to live an authentic life and share their stories (without the benefit of a Annie Leibovitz glam-photoshoot)

namaste
r.

Third Time's The Charm - Opening Day's With Arthur

(for those who missed the back story on this interesting encounter, you can read the blog entry, "Court Jester to the Gods (Arthur Rock/Baseball Edition)".

OK... Here's how it went down...

Got inside the ballpark about 12:40 and went directly to my seat, where I found myself alone... About 2 minutes later the Arthur Rock entourage arrived and I gave Arthur a friendly/smiley "Hi! Good to see you again!", which was met with stoney silence (what? he doesn't remember me from the one day a year we see each other, twice before? -lol-)... I shifted my focus to the opening day ceremonies (Blue Angel flyover, hoisting of the World Series Championship Banner, etc.)

Then, same as last year, shortly before the first pitch the "Lunch Order" was placed (for those keeping track, this year it was a chicken sandwich, no cheese, extra mayo). This should have been my opportunity to engage with Arthur, but there were two people sitting to my right who knew him well (very nice folks who were season ticket/license holders), so I was relegated to the role of 'Background Actor/Food Passer'. Once they yelled "Play Ball!" Arthur was deeply focused on his score card, so there wasn't an opportunity to chat, and with the Giants playing catch-up the entire game, the mood in our section was cordial but not overly friendly (though i did get a big smile and 'thumbs up' from San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee and Giants CEO Larry Baer).

As we pushed towards the bottom of the 6th, I realized Arthur could leave at any moment (my memory of our first two encounters was that he's not necessarily a 'full game' kind of guy), so I reached into my bag and pulled out the manilla envelope containing my copy of the Jan 23, 1984 issue of Time Magazine ("Cashing In Big - The Men Who Make The Killings", the one with Arthur on the cover) that I had purchased on eBay specifically for this occasion. I also pulled out the black Sharpie® marker I had clipped to the edge of the envelope, and waited for my chance. In the middle of the 7th, everyone in the park stood up and sang Take Me Out To The Ballgame, and as I was belting out, "ROOT ROOT ROOT FOR THE HOME TEAM!!!" I realized everyone in the park stood up ::except Arthur!!:: Seeing my chance, I finished singing and quickly sat down while everyone else was still standing, pulled out the magazine and said, "Arthur... could i ask you for your autograph?"He said yes and did I have a pen?, and I pulled out the Sharpie® (chance favors the prepared mind). Arthur signed the issue and I said 'Thank you!' and stashed it back in my bag.

The nice folks on my right saw this all go down and asked what it was all about and I told them the entire story and they laughed and then we all watched the Giants lose their 2015 home opener. 

As we were shuffling out into the isle I chatted with Arthur and told him this was the third year in a row that I had managed to randomly get the seat next to him, that I hoped he didn't think I was stalking him, albeit very slowly. I also said I was hoping to turn my amazing skills towards something more profitable, like playing the lottery. He smiled and said he hoped to see me next year. I said that seemed improbable and he suggested I start working on getting my ticket now!

That sounds like a very good plan..

For those who would like to see all the shots I took of the San Francisco Giants Opening Day - 2015, you can find them here => SF Giants Opening Day - April 13, 2015

And since I haven't said it in a long while:

Show Up

Pay Attention

Tell The Truth and

Don't Be Attached To The Outcome

namaste
(and thank you, again, Arthur!)

r.

Court Jester to the Gods (Arthur Rock/Baseball Edition)

This is Arthur Rock. He is considered one of the first venture capitalists. He was an early investor in Apple, a member of the board of directors, and may have been responsible, directly or indirectly, for Steve Jobs' ouster from Apple, depending on which blog you read.

In 2013 I purchased a ticket for the SF Giants Home Opener through MLB.com and discovered he was my seat mate. We didn't talk much.

In 2014 I again purchased a ticket for the SF Giants Home Opener, again through MLB.com, and got this:

 

An amazing coincidence given he's a season ticket holder who sits behind the Giants dugout whenever he wants, and i'm a schmuck with an internet connection and a credit card randomly punching buttons on the interweb. We chatted a bit and early in the first inning Arthur wanted to buy a hot dog. As i was sitting between him and the isle (and the roving "Premium Field Club Waiters"), i played the part of 'middleman" (lots of negotiation surrounding condiments and colas and arbitrage on some grilled onions... it was pretty complex). After it was all done Arthur said "Thank You", and I replied, "No, Thank You! Now I'll be able to tell people that I assisted Arthur Rock with a financial transaction." He stared at me for a long moment and then gave me a big smile which, according to my calculations, was worth about a million bucks.

Today I decided to see if I could purchase a ticket to the 2015 SF Giants Home Opener and again went to MLB, chose the April 13 game, clicked on the "Best Available - All Price Levels" button and this is the ticket the system chose for me.

But of course you knew that was going to happen (and in my heart, so did I.)

Don't tell me the universe doesn't have a sense of humor.

namaste

r.

3AM Movie Review®: "Whiplash"

this morning's insomnia lead to renting and watching "Whiplash", the 2014 drama about a sadist and his protege that's not "Fifty Shades of Grey", and which earned J.K. Simmons (Juno, Spider-Man, Farmers Insurance) an Oscar, a BAFTA and a Florida Film Critics Circle Award.

this is a deeply disturbing film about a music school teacher with no redeeming qualities, who taunts, berates and physically abuses his students to no discernible end... into this tableau we drop Miles Teller (no relation to the silent half of Penn &) who is Owl Jolson of Warner Brothers cartoon fame, come to life, except drumming instead of singing, and a WHOLE lot more blood... Miles is a freshman at the country's most elite music college where none of the other first year students seem to be able to play an instrument... Prof. Fritz Owl, in the form of Simmons (who confuses making the veins in his neck bulge with acting) takes Teller under his wing (see what i did there) to mentor him (?) humiliate him (?) teach him (?) ... no idea... and, truth be told, i don't care... being constantly on guard while waiting for the next episode of explosive rage isn't entertainment, its a flashback to my childhood... we're not given any reason to believe that being successful in the eye of this R. Lee Ermey wannabe leads to anything other than suicide (oops... spoiler alert...), plus he directs with the cat-like movements of Bubba Watson sinking a birdie (and who knows if he's a great drummer, let alone a good musician... we only get a tiny glimpse of his own playing, and its uninspired and uninspiring)... 

the film ends with the glee club getting to go to regionals (or something... it was close to 4:30AM by that point) and with Miles giving a drum solo that goes on and on and on and on until the screen goes black and Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" plays over the credits (or something... it was close to dawn by that point)... 

you don't need to see this film. if the only way you can see to become really good at something is to tie your identity and self worth to an abusive asshole, you may want to think about trying to be really good at something else (maybe conducting?)... save the time, the money and the emotional abuse and watch this cartoon, instead... you'll thank me!

Owl Jolson

Classic Merry Melodies cartoon, "Owl Jolson" featuring the song, "I Love to Singa." It's a surprisingly great story about parents learning to love their chil...

YOUTUBE.COM

We Pause To Mourn The Passing Of The Wonderful Taylor Negron

sonovista, my friends...  it is with great sadness that i share news of the passing of great comic, actor, writer, painter, and artist Taylor Negron.

those of you who have been with Schnauzer Logic since our earliest days will remember that Taylor was the special guest on our first anniversary show in January of 1977. Jann Karam made the introduction and during a brief pre-interview Taylor made it clear we could talk about anything and everything... and we did and he was fast and funny and later on, off the air, reiterated the offer of a pear tart and said i should come on by with Jann the next time I was down in LA.  i had the occasion to try and do that about 6 months later and though he wasn't available that afternoon, he spoke with me (someone he didn't really know) for about 45 minutes about life and art and love and sex... it was a master performance for an (appreciative) audience of one.

Deadline Hollywood has a very nice write up of his life.

The twitterverse is full of words of love and praise.

And if you want to (re)hear the interview we did with Taylor and Sean and Sheri, i've uploaded it to SoundCloud.

wishing you all a joyous and healthy 2015 and asking you to remember to:

show up
pay attention
tell the truth, and
don't be attached to the outcome.

namaste
r

San Francisco SantaCON (#SFSanta) 2014 - Union Square Photowalk

sonovista, my friends!

yesterday was SantaCon and that presented a great opportunity to get outside after the past few days of honest-to-goodness, actual, heavy-duty rain, here in Northern California, and take a picture or two...

the full gallery of 60+ photos taken in and around Union Square (ground-zero for the start of the event) can be seen here

SantaCon - #SFSanta - 2014

Transgender Pioneer Leslie Feinberg (of Stone Butch Blues fame) Has Died

a sad entry...

i met leslie in 1995 at a small house in kansas city, kansas, where about 30 folks had gathered to plan a protest of the murders of Brandon Teena, Lisa Lambert and Phillip Levine (the events that formed the basis of the movie, "Boys Don't Cry") the next day in Falls City, Nebraska. i had the honor and privilege to drive leslie and minnie bruce and nancy nangeroni and a few other folks the 100 miles to the Nebraska courthouse, and the car turned into a rolling political, economic and sociology classroom (for me). it was very early on in my own exploration of self and much of what i remember from talking with leslie was hir passion and conviction, and the fact that many of the things ze said made me both angry and profoundly uncomfortable (in my more 'adult' years i've come to embrace that discomfort as an indication that what i -think- is true and what i suspect -may- be true are at odds with each other.) i didn't really keep in contact with leslie (though i did occasionally hear from minnie bruce) but took great comfort knowing leslie was out there continuing to fight the good fight, unbowed, uncompromising and unapologetic.

RIP Transgender Warrior.

The Advocate has a lovely obituary written by Minnie Bruce Pratt that's well worth your time.

namaste
r.

Mostly Harmless (Dispatches from the Field #829)

so here's the brave new world at least some of us are blessed to live in (and don't think, for a second, that i'm not aware that not everyone enjoys the same access)...

Friday, October 10, 2014 - San Francisco, California

UCSF Medical Center at Parnassus

12:30pm - check into UCSF Radiology
12:40pm - realize the reason the head opening for the gown is too small is that these are pants
12:50pm - enter pre-op area to have IV inserted
12:52pm - ask nurse who is pulling down the IV board, across my chest, "will I be able to purchase a photograph at the end of the ride?"
12:53pm - answer question, "are you allergic to anything" by saying "yes, -stupid-... it always seems to give me a headache"
12:54pm - show first measure of restraint by refusing to answer the question "before we're done, do you have any questions?" with the question, "Do you think Kim Jong-un is still in control of North Korea?"
12:55pm - take hospital 'selfie', or as i like to call it, "healfie"

1:00pm - take bag of clothing, purse, and ukulele into MRI lab and discover that ukulele will not fit into clothing locker. agree with technician that stolen ukuleles are rare, and leave ukulele on top of lockers.
1:05pm - load into GE 3T MRI (i like my T's like i like my sloth toes... in 3's!)
1:06pm - show second measure of restraint by refusing to answer the question, "before we begin, do you have any questions?" with the question, "Do you think an all-female reboot of GhostBusters is a good idea?"
1:07pm to 1:28pm - bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang
1:30pm - retrieve belongings and discover hospital unstolen ukulele record remains unblemished
1:40pm to 2:00pm - enjoy a delicious lunch in the hospital cafeteria (hahahahahahahahahacoughcoughack)
2:15pm - check in to UCSF Neurosurgery clinic
2:20pm - remember both surgeon and surgical nurse are Canadian, and quickly google music/lyrics for O Canada for the ukulele.
2:21pm to 2:30pm - practice, eh?!
2:30pm - enter examining room and while waiting, blow up a purple nitrile examination glove into a balloon (i do this every time... its kinda like my 'thing')

2:35pm - pull out new iPhone (to look at music/lyrics) and have staff member ask me, "hey, does the new iPhone have a fingerprint thing?" (yes, i say, why?") and have a staff member say to me, "damn... that means i won't be able to read my boyfriend's emails... do you know a way around that?"... so 'yea' for all those HIPAA privacy forms i had to sign! (?)
2:38pm - sing all four verses of O Canada with Canadian neurosurgical nurse.
2:40pm - have Canadian neurosurgical nurse look at my chart and ask me, "why do you keep getting all these tumors?"
2:41pm - show third measure of restraint by refusing to answer, " because that's where God touched me, but forgot to wash his hands"
2:42pm - have 4th year neurosurgical student (Canadian?) come in and ask if she can ask me some questions?
2:42pm - show fourth measure of restraint by refusing to answer, "that's one..."
2:45pm - have Canadian neurosurgeon enter the examination room, pull up the MRI taken about an hour ago, alongside the MRI taken a year ago, and start pointing out anomalies in my brain to the 4th year neurosurgical student, like they were the sites of famous battles during the civil war. ("and this here is the battle of Pea Ridge... could have won that one if only they'd left the seat up, am i right ladies???!!!???")
2:50pm - watch Canadian neurosurgeon finish review, looks at radiologist report (which seems to have arrived sometime while we were singing, "O Canada! Beneath thy shining skies, May Stalwart sons, and gentle maidens rise."), nod in agreement, and say:

"Unchanged"... see you again in a year?

2:51pm - note GPS has me going 90mph, headed south on Interstate 280, just passing Hickey Boulevard ("could have won that one too if only they'd used a little less suction, am i right ladies???!!!???")

so over the course of about 2 1/2 hours, and through the efforts of about 15 different medical professionals (not including the cafeteria chef) i am given another year to act the fool as court jester of the gods... (plus, i now know how to play O Canada on the ukulele, so i got that going for me...)

namaste

I Want You To Want Me...

(reposted from my Facebook page)

This is for Teddy (my grad school roommate, and friend for over 30 years, James Lattin)... 

just about to go to bed and happened to tune past ASX-TV, where they're showing "Cheap Trick At Budokan: The 35th Anniversary Performance" taped at the El Rey Theater in LA last year. I'm thinking they look and sound pretty good... especially Rick Nielsen... same old baseball cap, bow tie, insane guitar licks and stage antics. so i decide to Google him.

He'll be 67 in December.

Mommy's alright.

Daddy's alright.

And Granddad's doing pretty good, too!

(Surrender, indeed)

And here's one more 'fun fact' Teddy... in the mid-90's when i was working on the Newton team, Cheap Trick and Greg Kihn came to the campus for a demo of our new products (it was set up in Caffe Macs, which shows how times have changed)... i volunteered to demo the Newton MessagePad 130 and of course, being totally into checkboards and Vans at that point (h/t to Steve Capps) i had 'customized' my MP130 with black-and-white checkerboard contact paper... CT & GK came by and were looking at all the stuff, and were talking with folks and generally pretty nice, and then Rick Nielsen stopped and picked up my MessagePad and asked, "do you guys make 'em like this?" and i said, "no, this one is custom"... and he smiled and reached into his pocket and gave me a guitar pick and said "these are custom, too!"... later in the afternoon they were still walking around campus (i guess things moved slower those days) and we both happened to be in another building when they all came walking by with some Apple execs, and Nielsen saw me and shouted across the first floor of IL3, "Hey... isn't that Robin Goldstein??? Hey, Robin.... What's Up?!?!"... i broke into a huge grin and everyone else just stood and stared...

as Bill Murray says in Groundhog Day, "-That- was a pretty good day..."

#WhatTransLooksLike

so here's a thing...  back at the end of august, The Huffington Post - Gay Voices blog published an article entitled "Transgender People Share Photos Of Themselves For #WhatTransLooksLike"... i was intrigued (it was a holiday weekend... didn't have much to do...) and took a selfie and posted it with the hashtag:

i then started to look for other pics with the hashtag #WhatTransLooksLike, and was amazed at the diversity (and number) of photos... in fact after scrolling through the first 100 or so, i realized that a powerful statement would be to see a large group of these photos, together, all at once (rather than seriatim, one at a time) so i started to collect the photos and then loaded them into Posterino...  i created a montage that contained a few hundred photos and then posted that online, but within hours there were an additional 100 photos.. so i updated my collage again and again, each time adding in additional photos, and tweaking the existing images to best display each of the amazing faces...  eventually i came up against the limit of the Posterino software (500 images) and said "Fini!" and here is the result:

i love this collection of faces... and even if you're not in there, you're in there...

feel free to share (i only ask attribution) and if you would like to grab the full-size 25MB, 6681x5725 image (suitable for framing or wrapping fish) you can grab it here.

namaste and at this time (of all times):

Show Up

Pay Attention

Tell The Truth and

Don't Be Attached To The Outcome

r.

The End Of An Era (Which Don't Seem To Last As Long As They Used To...)

yesterday Apple gave a preview of the latest product i've been fortunate enough to work on, Apple Watch, while quietly saying 'good-bye' to the final version of another game-changing product i was lucky enough to be involved with, the original scroll-wheel iPod. and here's a cool story some of you may not have heard...

back in the spring of 2001 i was convinced i was going to be the next great talk-radio star... i was sending out demo tapes and taking stand-up and acting classes, and going to broadcasting conventions while, at my 'day job', i was senior counsel at Apple. i don't remember exactly what i had been working on, but i had a sense it was going to be a 'quiet' summer, so when i went to the Radio and Records Talk Radio Conference in Newport Beach and ran into Michael Zwerling, owner of KSCO, i was thrilled when he asked if i would be interested in replacing Rush Limbaugh, M-F from 9am-11am... this seemed like an amazing opportunity (i had only done fill-in hosting, or a weekly saturday show), so i talked with my manager at Apple about shifting my hours, so i could host a daily talk radio program, and she said yes. the show wasn't set to start for another few weeks, and as i was getting ready, and trying to figure out how i would create 10 hours a week of original content, my manager stopped me in the hall and said, "you know something about music and digital audio, yes? i have a secret project i think you would be perfect for..." (and just to set the record straight, when i first learned the details of the original iPod project my reaction was "a portable music player? are you kidding? that's a stupid idea... i've already got a Rio and a Creative Labs and a Sony Music Clip and, what, we're going to charge $400???!!!???" which, parenthetically, is why you don't let lawyers get involved in product marketing... but i digress...)

anyway, cut forward a few months and my super secret product needs beta testing, stealth mode, in the real world... i volunteer, am issued a white scroll wheel 5GB iPod, a thick firewire cable, and a pre-release version of iTunes to load music from my PowerBook. i take the entire contents of my Napster library (the statute of limitation must have run by now, no?), move it on to the device, get a cassette adapter with a headphone plug, and begin to make the twice daily drive from my home in San Jose, over RT 17 to Santa Cruz, and then back across the 'hill' to Cupertino, where i work with the team on manufacturing agreements and technology licenses and understanding what happens when you 'interrogate' a lithium battery with a screwdriver (hint: the interrogation ends badly for the battery and the screwdriver) until late each evening when i drive home, sleep for a few hours, wake up at 5:30am to start my show prep, and do it all over again. and as i clock all those miles, i have my iPod (in various modes of disguise) sliding around on the passenger seat, being controlled by me, blindly, as i reach across to press one of a series of identical buttons (which way is up?), while trying to keep my eyes on the road. i'm successful at one thing (staying on the road) but fail at the other, pressing multiple buttons at once, holding buttons too long, randomly, rapidly, and unintentionally changing settings, and generally causing the iPod to crash. and when that happens i try to remember what i did, and as soon as i park (at KSCO, or Apple, or home) i write down what i tried to do, and what actually happened, and then load it all into a bug reporting system. and upon the final release of the very first version of iPod software i am told that i have found more bugs than anyone else, and as a reward am given one of the FPOL (first product off the line) iPods, which i still have and which still works and which only contains songs i have legally purchased ("Don't Steal Music!")

and so, in the end, the scroll wheel version of the iPod had a longer run than i did at KSCO, but they both had a profound effect on the world (ok, maybe just one of them) and i'm glad to have been associated with both! and these days having 1000 songs in your pocket ain't no thing, but with Apple Watch you'll be able to listen to music, wirelessly, from your wrist even when you're not carrying your phone... and who knows, maybe i'll be able to convince the team to include a scroll wheel on the music player control screen! ('cause what goes around...)

if you're interested in a deeper look at the life and times of the scroll-wheel based iPod, Christina Warren on Mashable has a wonderful article, "Requiem for an iPod Classic" that i strongly recommend...

OT: My Email Exchange w/Larry "Fenwick" Gotterer on the Final Gong Show

sonovista, my friends…  so this is totally off topic, but i was having a conversation with a friend about the Gong Show and i said, "did you know that the last Gong Show wasn't hosted by Chuck Barris, but by one of the writer/producers who was basically shoved on stage and did an amazing impression of "Chuckie-baby"…  and my friend said, "how do you know that?" and i said, "because i found the guy and wrote to him and he was nice enough to write back!" and my friend said, "cool… you should put that up on Wikipedia®" and i did and then it was pulled because i didn't provide any supporting documentation (fair enough)… so, here on the official Schnauzer Logic Podcast blog, i give you supporting documentation…  its actually a sweet note about things that happened almost 34 years ago (sheesh!) so thanks, Larry, for marking the beginning of 2013 and allowing me to use your story to mark the end (i guess you'd have to say, "its the year of Fenwick!")

A Belated ThanksChanukah Story...

in 1983 i started my legal career at the small NYC patent firm of Blum Kaplan Friedman Silberman and Beran... at that time Alex Friedman, the oldest of the surviving partners, was still coming into the office most days to handle a few trademark matters and sort through, and often deliver, the firm's mail…  Alex was a very sweet guy and took a liking to me, offering advice and telling me the most unusual stories (the one about having insomnia one night, and coming into the office at 3am to get a start on the day and finding two members of the cleaning crew 'schtuping' on his leather couch, still sticks in my mind)… 

somehow, early on, Alex took to calling me David, asking me to do small personal favors (change the battery in a digital calculator, that sort of thing) and being both respectful, and fearful, of his longevity and position, i deigned to correct him… this went on for many months, until the spring of 1984 when Alex was planning for his annual pilgrimage to Israel to see his daughter and grandchildren… 

Alex summoned me into his office and said, "David… I need for you to buy me a razor." "Uh, what kind of razor, Alex?" "An electric razor that will work in Israel" and with that he put his head down and went back to work.  i went into the office of the junior partner who had hired me and said, "Alex just asked me to buy him a razor.  What should i do?" to which he said, "Buy him a razor, idiot"… so i did.. i found a speciality shop that sold Norelco razors (the firm represented Remington and i even got to meet Victor "I Bought The Company!" Kiam, but it needed to be international and preferably not German) and returned to the office pleased with my success.  "Here's your razor, Alex… The receipt is in the bag."  "Thank you", he said, and again put his head down and went back to work.  

I wondered how I would broach the topic of payment (i was a first-year associate, making 'bupkiss') when I was summoned back to his office, "David…  thank you for buying me the razor…  here's a check for the purchase…" and with that he handed me a check made out to David Goldberg… i stared at the check thinking about how i might cash it, what i would say to the teller at my bank, whether i could go back to the junior partner who had hired me, and ask his advice…  i stood there, frozen, for what must have been an inappropriately long period of time when Alex said to me, 

"Is there a problem?"

"Alex", i said, "I'm afraid i can't accept this check…"

"No", he said, "I insist on paying for the razor…" 

"No, Alex…", i said, "That's not the problem… the problem is my name isn't David Goldberg…" 

"It isn't?", he said, "huh…  I thought it was… I think I knew a David Goldberg…" and with that he wrote me a new check and sent me on my way…  

i had forgotten this 30 year-old story until last night when i received a ThanksChanukah card from my friend (and old Blum Kaplan officemate) Peter…  i'm fortunate to have started my career working with folks like Alex, and fortunate to have friends like Peter who won't let me forget the embarrassing moments of my life...

Schnauzer Logic Episode 86 Is Online (pssst… act like nothing's wrong)...

Sonovista, my friends!  Just a short note to say that on Saturday, November 30, 2013 (exactly 2 years since the last time we all were in the studio for a legitimate show), Sheri and I sat down at Schnauzer Studios to record a new podcast!

A bit of fluff (there's too much of -me- talking, and the audio isn't up to my usual anal-retentive standards, since my DBX-266XL Compressor/Limiter/Gate done up and died), but its available in all of the usual places and should be showing up in the show's new(ish) RSS feed:

http://www.almostradio.com/schnauzerlogic/podcast.xml

lemme know if that isn't true.

(also, the Penn and Teller off-Broadshow i was thinking of from 1983/1984 was Penn and Teller Go Public)

more later… until then…

show up
pay attention
tell the truth, and
don't be attached to the outcome

namaste
robin

Happy National Buttermilk Biscuit Day!

(jeebus - what is this crap???)

oh, hello and Sonovista my friends!!!  just commenting on the new user interface for managing the Schnauzer Logic Podcast blog over here on blogger...

in any event, just a quick note to say Howdy! and welcome to 2012 (if i get it in before the World Series® break, it still counts!)

lots of blah blah blah as to why we haven't done a show in a while, but the big news is that the old Apple Mobile Me/iDisk account that i used to host all of your favorite episodes (and the 88 others) is going away real soon now...

so i've purchased a new domain "almostradio.com", and it looks like i have successfully managed to get the iTunes store to recognize that the official RSS feed for Schnauzer Logic (the podcast) is now:

http://www.almostradio.com/schnauzerlogic/podcast.xml

if you subscribe through the store, nothing should change and all will still be well - but if you get the show another way (and used the old homepage.mac.com/airplayradio link, change it to the one above)

to test the new link and server i posted a test episode yesterday (Episode 85) that you will only see if you're connecting to the correct (new) feed...  it runs about an hour and is mostly me babbling, with a bit of john dekoven babbling (on the phone) and a couple of fun tunes.

(oh, and as part of the upgrade process, the shows will now be in Stereo (Stereo) - which means, in order to get the same quality (sound, not content) each shows size will double (double) which is how you know that Schnauzer Logic is a true AMERICAN podcast - its now twice as large, but no more healthy.

and that's it...  we won't be doing weekday (wednesday) shows, as schedules have changed, but i'm thinking a regular Sunday morning get together (Schnauzers and Lox) may well happen and we'll restart our move towards the big 100th show!

until then, thanks for the kind words and remember to
Show Up
Pay Attention
Tell The Truth
And Don't Be Attached To The Outcome.

namaste
robin

Episode 84 (and 83) are Online!!!

sonovista, my friends! we're not sure exactly how it happened, but there are two (2) new episodes of Schnauzer Logic online - the first (episode 83) was recorded the week before thanksgiving and features john dekoven and sheri in the studio, with our two guests, writer/comedian Pete Grossman, and our old friend, Ken Turetzky.

the second episode was recorded yesterday and again features john and sheri in studio with parviz (PARVIZ!!!) on the phone and a great interview with a very funny comedian jeff applebaum.

i don't know when there wlll be show notes for either episode since boyana has decided to move to scotland to pursue her education (so much for priorities!)

but you can download the episodes from the usual places (hint, itunes) or listen in the side podcast pickle player or even just click on the players below:

Episode 84 - November 30, 2011


Episode 83 - November 16, 2011


and that's what we got for now - we have fun doing these shows and will try to continue to get together every week or so - as always, you can call into the show at 408-335-4755 and leave a message (or get through to the studio when we're recording) - and you can listen to the studio audio live (or a random archive of past shows) by clicking on one of the player icons to the right.

we always appreciate your support and only ask that you
show up
pay attention
tell the truth
and don't be attached to the outcome.

namaste
robin

Schnauzer Logic Episode 83 Being Recorded Today

sonovista, my friends! once you've recovered from the shock and awe of the headline, please click on one of the 4 little icons to the right under Live Audio/Archive Stream (mp3, windows media, real audio and quicktime streaming) between 4:30pm and 6:30pm california time today, Wed, november 16, 2011 (it feels like i'm holding up a newspaper for a hostage photo) and you can hear us live in the studio... you can also call in and interrupt the show by dialing (408) 335-4755

cheers
robin

From the Finale of The Voice (Concept by Rachel) from Robin Diane Goldstein on Vimeo.

(rachel weinstein and i watched the finale of the first series of The Voice and were both gobstruck when Christina performed a 'real time' adjustment. we decided it was worthy of preserving and setting to music. enjoy!)

(RSS) Feed Me, Seymour

sonovista, my friends! if you're one of the few who has bookmarked the Schnauzer Logic podcast feed in your regular podcast player (XML Feed) you may have noticed that a new file showed up this morning with the title "(not) Episode 82". this is a test run of a bunch of new studio hardware and software. gone is the old Mac Quad G5 and the original G4 Cube, both of which have been replaced by a single Mac Mini and a Behringer USB Digital Audio I/O box. the result is a show that uses about 1/10th of the actual power (watts), allowing us to join the ranks of GREEN podcasters, and also keep the studio much cooler.

for not having done a show for 14 months, i was actually surprised how easily i slipped back behind the microphone and into the role of fast-talking host. and it was fun!

the next step is figuring out whether we can get anyone to come back into the studio on a regular basis... John DeKoven has already said 'yes', and Jason is most likely a definite 'no' (due to his new job as West Coast Entertainment Reporter for ABC Radio Network News). and everyone else is an unknown at this point, but we'll see. its been a while since i did any kind of extended show by myself (and it requires a different kind of rhythm than doing a show with co-hosts). but '(not) 82' felt pretty comfortable, so a solo-run is certainly a possibility.

stay tuned
namaste
r

This is why Comcast/CableCARD Support is so Awful!!!

(UPDATED: June 22, 2011) sonovista, my friends!!! so today i received my new TiVo Premiere XL box and went about getting it all set up... now this is my 4th TiVo to use a CableCARD (the thing you need so a TiVo can get subscription and premium channels) and i know that in order for it to work on Comcast here in northern california, the card needs to be both Activated (connected to my account) and Paired (a second-level encryption scheme used to protect the HBO and Showtime-type-channels).

a post on the TiVoCommunity suggested it might be possible to bypass the challenges of getting a customer service representative to understand that a CableCARD is not a cable box, and that 'hitting it with a signal' isn't the same as "Pairing" it to set up the decryption chain, but after 3 attempts at http://www.comcast.com/activate, i gave up and decided to use their online chat service (as recommended on the activation page) - here is the transcript

=================

Live Chat Status:
Analyst DiosdadoJr is here and your issue status is: working

user ROBIN has entered room

analyst DiosdadoJr has entered room

DiosdadoJr> Hello ROBIN_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is DiosdadoJr. Please give me one moment to review your information.

DiosdadoJr> Welcome to Comcast Self - Install Kit Activation support! It is a pleasure to have you on chat. I hope you haven't waited long to be assisted. How can I help you today?

ROBIN_> hi - i need to both Activate and Pair a cablecard for my new TiVo - i tried using the online tool a couple of times, but it doesn't seem to be working (i still don't get any premium channels or a lot of other channels as well)

DiosdadoJr> It would be my pleasure to assist you in activating your service from my end and make sure that it is working fine before we end the chat session.

ROBIN_> thanks!

ROBIN_> i'm on the cablecard activation screen - what info do you need from me?

[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]

DiosdadoJr> "Let me pull up your account first. Can you please verify if this information that you entered prior to the start of the chat is correct: Customer's Name: ROBIN GOLDSTEIN Account Number:xxxxxxxxxxxx

ROBIN_> yes

DiosdadoJr> Thank you. While I pull up your account, may I have the make and model of the the cable box as well as its serial number?

ROBIN_> its not a cable box, its a TiVo Premiere

ROBIN_> so its a cablecard, not a box

ROBIN_> do you have experience with activating -and- pairing a cablecard?

DiosdadoJr> Yes I have Robin.

ROBIN_> excellent!!!

ROBIN_> it can be confusing if you've never done it before...

DiosdadoJr> Can I have the customer s/n # of the cable card?

ROBIN_> the Card S/N is xxxxxxxxxxxx

[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]

DiosdadoJr> Robin just to confirm from your end is this an additional cable card or will this replace another cable card?

ROBIN_> additional cable card for a new tivo box

[WAIT FOR 10 MINUTES]

ROBIN_> still there?

DiosdadoJr> Yes Robin I'm still here. I'm in the process of activating the cable card on my end.

ROBIN_> thanks

[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]

DiosdadoJr> I will now take the neccessary steps to activate the cable card Robin.

ROBIN_> thanks!

[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]

DiosdadoJr> Robin I have sent the activation signals to your cable card, can you check for channels now?

ROBIN_> i'm getting some channels (thanks) from the activation, but no premium channels. i believe the cable card also needs to be "Paired" using the Card ID, Host ID and Data ID info (as i recall from past experience)

DiosdadoJr> Do you have that information Robin?

ROBIN_> yes:

ROBIN_> CableCard ID: xxxxxxxxxxxx

ROBIN_> Host ID: xxxxxxxxxxxx

ROBIN_> Data ID: xxxxxxxxxxxx

DiosdadoJr> Thank you for that information Robin.

ROBIN_> cool

[WAIT FOR 10 MINUTES]

DiosdadoJr> I have already activated your cable service, and its already up and running here in my system, just in case after 45 minutes some of the expected channels are still not appearing please do contact this number 1 888 270 6445 for the activation update.

ROBIN_> so you've entered the Host ID and Data ID info on your screens?

ROBIN_> it usually doesn't take anywhere near 45 minutes to get the premium channels

[WAIT FOR 5 MINUTES]

DiosdadoJr> Just to recap what we have done today, I was able to successfully activate your cable service from my end and it is working fine now.

ROBIN_> no, that is not correct

ROBIN_> it appears my cablecard is not correctly "Paired" though it is "Activated"

DiosdadoJr> Yes Robin that is just the maximum time we give.

ROBIN_> ok - just to be clear, this was not a successful resolution of my issue. i would like to say it is, but my card is not Paired and i'm not getting the premium channels like HBO

DiosdadoJr> Robin I have actually sent the pair hit signal to your cable card.

ROBIN_> i believe you - its just not working

DiosdadoJr> Well Robin if you still have some issues regarding subscribed channels not loading, feel free to call our National Video Activation center for resolution & advanced trouble shooting regarding video activation.

ROBIN_> is that the 888 number above?

DiosdadoJr> Yes it is Robin.

DiosdadoJr> Thank you for using Comcast and have a nice day.

ROBIN_> you too - ciao

=================

so i then called the 888 number (above) and got hung up on 3 times! finally i called another comcast number and got straight through to a fellow (i wish i remembered his name) who understood that a CableCARD is not a cable box and has to be both authorized and paired and within 10 minutes (literally while i watched the screen and waited) everything was working great.

bottom line: time spent on getting my CableCARD activated and paired by Comcast - over 90 minutes (online, in chat, and on the phone) - time spent once i got to talk with someone who actually knew what to do - 10 minutes.

(for the record, i then had to call TiVo to activate the new box on my account - i wanted to do something 'tricky' and the regular customer rep couldn't help, so i called TiVo's HQ, got passed along to a second level rep and he took care of everything in about 10 minutes. so, TiVo, yea, Comcast, boo)

next up... trying to change the replaceable head in my electric toothbrush - wish me luck!

namaste
robin
------------
Wednesday Morning Update - June 22, 2011
so after i posted this on my @SchnauzerLogic twitter feed, i received a number of directed tweets from @ComcastMelissa offering to handle the issue directly. i thanked her and noted that the final CSR (who goes down as the unsung hero of this fustercluck) was knowledgeable and apologetic and got it all taken care of 'tout de suite'! she then asked for my account info, via direct message, so she could pass it up the chain in customer service, and this morning i received a phone call from another very nice woman who was equally apologetic and mentioned that she had read through the transcript and was going to be working with the CSR managers to make sure everyone had a refresher course on CableCARDS and the like... she also made an offer of 'good faith' in connection with my account (not necessary, but a clear indication that "Comcast Cares"!)... so all is good and working well... if only a call to customer service could do something about the quality of the programming!

Ringtone for the Rapture

its the end of the world and i'm feeling creative! this archive contains an MP3 file and an M4R file, suitable for your iPhone.

http://www.SchnauzerLogic.com/rapturering.zip

Film Review: Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)

(my friend, don, has been asking for my thoughts on the sequel to the original Wall Street, so i sat down to watch it on PPV last night, and here's where i came out.)

---

Roger Ebert's infamous review of Rob Reiner's 1994 film, "North", contained the following bit of prose:

"I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it."

For some reason (ok, many reasons), this old review came to mind, repeatedly, as i fought the constant temptation to "go all Elvis" on my Sony XBR last night while enduring this 2010 sequel to Oliver Stone's iconic 1987 cautionary tale of conspicuous consumption and greed. From the opening bleats of the David Byrne/Brian Eno soundtrack to the obligatory Charlie Sheen (and two hooker) cameo, almost every moment of this obvious, blunt force trauma made me want to punch someone. Shia LaBeouf's angry innocence? Pow. Josh Brolin's cardboard villain? Pow. Carey Mulligan, Susan Sarandon, Austin Pendleton, Eli Wallach? Pow, Pow, Pow, Pow! Has there ever been a greater waste of talent (or worse collection of accents?)

We get it, Oliver. We didn't learn our lesson and now the Apocalypse (quite literally, if you're a fan of wide tracking shots over Ground Zero) is upon us. And -only- Gordon Gekko can save us. Or fuck us in the ass. Or both or neither or wait, is this thing -still- not over?

The philosopher Aristotle said in his work Poetics that tragedy is characterized by seriousness and dignity and involving a great person who experiences a reversal of fortune (at least according to Wikipedia.) If that's true, then the real tragedy of WS:MNS is that the director of "Platoon", "Born on the Fourth of July", and the original "Wall Street" has returned to a 23 year-old well intent on passing off its brackish contents as cool, clear and refreshing. But it's not. It's not even the sickly sweet "Kool-Aid" that Gecko cautions his adoring audience against drinking. Its just stale and stinky, leaving you unquenched and slightly queasy with the sure knowledge that you'll wake up in the morning with cotton mouth and a pounding headache.

Over produced, over acted and underwhelming, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is a thorough mess whose most entertaining moment comes in the opening scene when the newly released ex-con, Gekko, is given back his iconic Motorola-brick cell phone. After sitting through this 2 hour and 7 minute magnum dopus, it occurred to me that this whole drama could have been avoided if old 'Gordo' had (spoiler alert) simply taken that $100 million he stashed away in Zurich back in '87 and invested it in Apple stock. By the time he got out he'd have more money than he'd know what do to with -and- a shiny new iPhone.

Or perhaps it's Stone who's fucking with us, at this very moment penning the third installment, "Wall Street: Love The Yuan You're With".

So, Don, my my verdict on "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps"?
To paraphrase the great Paul Simon, "Still Greedy After All These Years".

Theodore Roosevelt - The Right of the People to Rule

Recorded by Thomas Edison, August 1912

The great fundamental issue now before our people can be stated briefly. It is, are the American people fit to govern themselves, to rule themselves, to control themselves? I believe they are. My opponents do not. I believe in the right of the people to rule. I believe that the majority of the plain people of the United States will, day in and day out, make fewer mistakes in governing themselves than any smaller class or body of men, no matter what their training, will make in trying to govern them. I believe, again, that the American people are, as a whole, capable of self-control, and of learning by their mistakes. Our opponents pay lip-loyalty to this doctrine; but they show their real beliefs by the way in which they champion every device to make the nominal rule of the people a sham.

I am not leading this fight as a matter of aesthetic pleasure. I am leading because somebody must lead, or else the fight would not be made at all. I prefer to work with moderate, with rational, conservatives, provided only that they do in good faith strive forward toward the light. But when they halt and turn their backs to the light, and sit with the scorners on the seats of reaction, then I must part company with them. We the people cannot turn back. Our aim must be steady, wise progress.

It would be well if our people would study the history of a sister republic. All the woes of France for a century and a quarter have been due to the folly of her people in splitting into the two camps of unreasonable conservatism and unreasonable radicalism. Had pre-Revolutionary France listened to men like Turgot, and backed them up, all would have gone well. But the beneficiaries of privilege, the Bourbon reactionaries, the shortsighted ultra-conservatives, turned down Turgot; and then found that instead of him they had obtained Robespierre. They gained twenty years' freedom from all restraint and reform, at the cost of the whirlwind of the red terror; and in their turn the unbridled extremists of the terror induced a blind reaction; and so, with convulsion and oscillation from one extreme to another, with alternations of violent radicalism and violent Bourbonism, the French people went through misery toward a shattered goal. May we profit by the experiences of our brother republicans across the water, and go forward steadily, avoiding all wild extremes; and may our ultra-conservatives remember that the rule of the Bourbons brought on the Revolution, and may our would-be revolutionaries remember that no Bourbon was ever such a dangerous enemy of the people and of freedom as the professed friend of both, Robespierre.

There is no danger of a revolution in this country; but there is grave discontent and unrest, and in order to remove them there is need of all the wisdom and probity and deep-seated faith in and purpose to uplift humanity we have at our command. Friends, our task as Americans is to strive for social and industrial justice, achieved through the genuine rule of the people. This is our end, our purpose. The methods for achieving the end are merely expedients, to be finally accepted or rejected according as actual experience shows that they work well or ill. But in our hearts we must have this lofty purpose, and we must strive for it in all earnestness and sincerity, or our work will come to nothing. In order to succeed we need leaders of inspired idealism, leaders to whom are granted great visions, who dream greatly and strive to make their dreams come true; who can kindle the people with the fire from their own burning souls. The leader for the time being, whoever he may be, is but an instrument, to be used until broken and then to be cast aside; and if he is worth his salt he will care no more when he is broken than a soldier cares when he is sent where his life is forfeit in order that the victory may be won. In the long fight for righteousness the watchword for all of us is spend and be spent.

(This speech contains excerpts from "The Right of People to Rule," an address originally delivered at Carnegie Hall, New York City, on March 20, 1912. See Social Justice and Popular Rule: Essays, Addresses, and Public Statements Relating to the Progressive Movement (1910-1916) by Theodore Roosevelt.)